Why does Rich Rodriguez keep talking about his 'progress' at Michigan?

Last week, Rich Rodriguez told the Associated Press he could "see a light at the end of the tunnel" of his tribulations at Michigan, if only he'd had more time to finish the job. Today, he doubled down on the "tunnel" metaphor in an interview with national radio host Colin Cowherd, clarifying precisely the tunnel he had in mind:

"We were making progress," he said. "The best was ahead of us and the worst was behind us.

"I almost felt like Andy Dufresne in the 'Shawshank Redemption.' Went through 300 yards of the foulest smelling crap you can imagine and we were finally getting to the good part at the end — and we didn't get a chance to do that. It was frustrating."
[…]
"The way things worked out, certainly there's regrets," he said. "… I just wish we had more time to succeed."

Actually, it was 500 yards, coach, but we see where you're going with this, again: The extreme attrition, factionalization, bullying from the press and simple bad luck Rodriguez endured in Ann Arbor made one of the most coveted jobs in America seem like a prison, and quarterback Denard Robinson finally offered a way out. But the new warden had the escape route sealed, or was waiting at the other end, or had Rodriguez shipped off to a new prison before he could make his escape, or stole his Racquel Welch poster, or, uh … well, we get the idea. Rodriguez did the tedious, day-to-day work to get the program out of the dire situation he inherited, put it on the right path and was cut out of the plan at the last second. We get it.

Do we buy it? We do not. Rodriguez's appeals for more time to see the thing to fruition might fall on a more sympathetic audience if a) He hadn't already had three years to demonstrate unmistakable progress at a program that was consistently worse throughout his tenure than it had been at any point in the previous 40 years, and b) Whatever semblance of progress the Wolverines had demonstrated the first ten games of 2010 hadn't been so thoroughly erased over the final three.

At 7-3, there's room to claim progress, even if the last three wins in that record happen o be harrowing, skin-of-the-teeth triumphs over three of the most hapless teams in the conference. (In this case, Indiana, Illinois and Purdue, all narrow Michigan victories, wrapped around a not-so-narrow losing streak at the hands of Michigan State, Penn State and Iowa.) But the final three games brought any and all vestiges of optimism to the grisliest possible end. The Wolverines were trounced by Wisconsin by 20 points, Ohio State by 30 and Mississippi State (!) by 38 in the bowl game. The hopelessly green, sad-sack outfit that greeted Rodriguez in 2008 could have hardly fared worse. The new defensive coordinator was demonstrably worse than the one who'd been run out of town after Rodriguez's first season. When a 5-0 start devolves into a 2-6 finish, of which the high point is a 67-65 escape against a team coached by Ron Zook, in triple overtime, that is the opposite of progress.

Presumably, Rodriguez thinks Brady Hoke only has to crawl through the last few remaining yards of crap before he breaks into the clear, thanks to the previous administration's legwork. That makes some sense: Going forward, the Wolverines figure to be one of the most veteran teams in the country this fall, with nine offense starters returning around Robinson – including four-fifths of the offensive line – and a defense that should at least have a clue for a change, if not a sudden influx of talent. Hoke is obviously exaggerating for effect when he says anything short of a Big Ten championship is a "failure," but it's not an exaggeration to expect the 2011 edition to look closer to the Michigan that you (and Hoke) grew up with than any of the depressing teams that took the field under his predecessor.

And really, that would probably be the case if Rodriguez had been miraculously granted a fourth year. But some discernible return to form was the mandate for 2009, too, and again last year. Despite their fast starts, those teams ultimately delivered nothing of the sort. The 2011 team, the first legitimately veteran lineup at Michigan since Lloyd Carr's last go-round in 2007, may be the one to fulfill that promise, regardless of who's at the top; a lot of people who aren't dumb will probably spend the next six months predicting exactly that. But the natural optimism that comes with an experienced team is an inevitable matter of time, not of steady, coordinated progress. If a more seasoned outfit does manage a breakthrough this fall – minor or otherwise – does Rodriguez really think he's earned the right to lead it?

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Fight of the Century: Smokin' Joe Frazier's Smashing Success

PHILADELPHIA -- Richard Nixon was rooting for Joe Frazier.

That fact can be interpreted a number of ways, even by those who weren't born when Frazier took on Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden in the "Fight of the Century'' on March 8, 1971. So much more was on the line that night than the undisputed heavyweight championship of the world -- politically, socially and emotionally -- that you could easily form an opinion on the fight based on who else was rooting for or against one of the fighters.

At the time, Nixon's support was important to Frazier for one reason: Frazier had gone to the president to convince him to get Ali's boxing license reinstated. The governing bodies had revoked it following Ali's refusal to enter the military based on his opposition to the war in Vietnam due to religious beliefs.

"That's the only way he was able to fight,'' Frazier recalled Thursday as he sat behind his desk in his business office, a suite on an upper floor of a hotel three blocks from Independence Hall. "And I went up to President Nixon to let his license go free, so we can get it on. And (Nixon) said, 'Joe, do you think you can take him?'

"I said, 'I got him in my back pocket.' I told the president that.'' Frazier chuckled, something he did a lot during an hour-and-a-half conversation that traveled all around the world, from his poor upbringing in the Jim Crow South to his adopted Philadelphia hometown to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics (where he won a gold medal at age 20) and, eventually, to the Garden.

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Joe Paterno's necktie is probably worth more than your car

I can't account for the origins of Penn State coach Joe Paterno's neckties, or any other article of his wardrobe, and at 84 years old, JoePa probably can't, either. But I like to imagine that at some point through the years, decades ago, one of the young Paterno children smashed a beloved piggybank in desperation the night before Father's Day to scrape together enough to buy their dad a cheap tie. And now, 45 years later, that same tie is worth more than Paterno's first contract:

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. -- The necktie worn by Penn State coach Joe Paterno the night he won his 400th game has turned into one expensive article of clothing.

The brownish-red tie with paisley prints was auctioned off for $10,200 at a charity event last week for Penn State Public Broadcasting. JoePa wore the tie with a light blue dress shirt under a black Nittany Lions jacket on Nov. 6, when his team rallied from three touchdowns down to beat Northwestern 35-21 at Beaver Stadium.

That's not a world record or anything (not even close), but $10K is an impressive price for any item of neckwear that doesn't have the Hope Diamond attached to it -– beating, even, the final pair of JoePa's trademark coke-bottle glasses, which fetched $9,000 last year after laser surgery dramatically reduced Paterno's prescription. Personally, though, I'm still saving my money for the infamous Paterno whale pants, the "glowing briefcase" of college coaching memorabilia. When those babies go on the block, no price is too high for Dr. Saturday readers to chip in and come through in the clutch. Am I right, guys? You know – for the team?

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Hat tip: Tom Fornelli.
Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Brett Keisel shaves his beard for charity

The beard, Brett Keisel's lionlike facial hair whose wit, personality and vibrance made it an international star during Super Bowl week, died Thursday night at a charity event in Pittsburgh. It was 8 months old.

The flowing chestnut locks were shorn during an event which raised over $30,000 for cancer research at Pittsburgh's Children's Hospital. Keisel's teammates Hines Ward and Aaron Smith were on hand for the euthanizing, each cutting parts of the Merlin-esque wonder. In a final tribute, the receiver even attached a piece of the clippings to his chin, making him look like a beat poet hanging with Dylan and Ginsberg at the Cafe Wha?

Later, in the seclusion of a downstairs room, Keisel and the beard spent a final few minutes together as a professional barber sheared off the remaining, Bunyan-esque locks. When it was over, the Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end was left with a stubbly look that took years, and loads of machismo, off of his appearance. He then emerged on stage, a suited, broken man.

"I feel naked," Keisel said. "I feel like I'm 15. It's been a long time since I had this look."

The beard was born during a family hunting trip last June. Its early days were routine -- stubbly, uneven, a little itchy -- and didn't portend much future greatness. But as the Steelers season progressed, the beard, and its profile, grew. Grizzly Adams jokes gave way to a Facebook page which turned into a Twitter account which turned into questions about the beard at press conferences. Said one man of the face fur, "it is like the coat of a wolf."   

At Super Bowl media day, the beard shone. Reporters from across the globe marveled at its fullness, texture and body. Other famous follicles, like Troy Polamalu's curls and Clay Matthews' Nelson hair, were left overshadowed. The afternoon would end up being the pinnacle of the beard's existence. Days later, it left the field as a Super Bowl loser. By the time it was put to rest on Thursday, it had lived for over 250 days without so much as a trim.

Even in the most solemn of moments, Keisel was hopeful for the future.

"The beard will decide when the time is right to come back, and it will all of a sudden appear," he said. 

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NCAA delivers official accusations to Tennessee ? and Lane Kiffin, wherever he is

Lane Kiffin has been Tennessee's ex-head coach now for almost as long as he held the original title, but between the evaporation of his only recruiting class and the burning desire of some Tennesseans to shoot him in effigy, the residue his 14-month tenure continues to pervade the program a full year after his abrupt departure for USC. Now, there's one final addition to the Kiffin legacy in Knoxville, courtesy of the NCAA, which wrapped up a 22-month investigation Tuesday by dropping an official notice of alleged infractions under Kiffin in the university's lap – one of which stands out, in particular (emphasis added):

The University of Tennessee yesterday received a Notice of Allegations from the NCAA regarding the school's men's basketball and football programs. … The notice contains the following allegations of violation of NCAA rules against the football program:

•  By former members of the football coaching staff: impermissible telephone contact (16 total calls) with prospective student-athletes from Jan. 3-9, 2010.
  •  By a former assistant football coach: allegations relating to impermissible contacts with prospective student-athletes.
  •  By a former head football coach: failure to promote an atmosphere of compliance within the football program and failure to monitor the activities regarding compliance of several assistant coaches have also been made against a former head football coach, and permitting a football recruiting intern to make impermissible contact with high school staff during a recruiting visit.

Jan. 3-9, 2010, was a recruiting "dead period" (during which coaches aren't allowed to contact recruits) that ended just before the Kiffin clan made tracks for USC on Jan. 12, meaning these allegations do not specifically include recruiting coordinator Ed Orgeron's alleged attempts to turn Tennessee commitments to USC as news of their departure was breaking – and all hell was breaking loose – that night. They also don't include anything apparently relating to the deployment of overly friendly "hostesses" to games featuring high-profile recruits.

As expected, the allegations do appear to include the illegal workout reportedly conducted by Orgeron ("former assistant coach") with a recruit during a dead period in May 2009, as well as former intern Steve Rubio's acting as a recruiter in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. If there's a hammer here, though, it comes with the charges of "failure to promote an atmosphere of compliance" and "failure to monitor," which are tied specifically to Kiffin, personally, not just Tennessee: As USC athletic Pat Haden said in his response to the allegations, "The NCAA enforcement process provides for Tennessee and Lane to address those charges," suggesting that potential penalties could follow Kiffin (and possibly Orgeron) to his new gig, even if he hasn't been accused of breaking any rules there.

That's a novel approach to enforcement, which is typically levied against the institution, not an individual coach. One glaring exception to that rule is Kiffin's crosstown counterpart, UCLA head coach Rick Neuheisel, who was barred from off-campus recruiting for eight months in 2002, when Neuheisel was head coach at Washington, for recruiting violations that stemmed from his tenure at Colorado in the mid-nineties. Presumably, the notification to USC is notification that Kiffin could face the same fate.

The fact is, as scofflaws go, Kiffin comes across as something of lightweight compared to the epic list of allegations against Vol basketball coach Bruce Pearl – including "failure to furnish full and complete information relevant to the investigation," traditionally a kiss of death when dealing with the NCAA – over the same period. With the Neuheisel precedent hanging over his head, though, Kiffin is officially on the clock, along with his former employer: They have 90 days to formally respond to the allegations, before their date in front in front of the NCAA's Committee on Infractions for judgment in June.

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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