OK, take a deep breath, forget the stockpiles of ammunition, pull the duct tape off the windows, let the kids out of the basement and step back from the ledge – a day after Oregon State Police and a very concerned-sounding Erin Andrews sounded the alarm, College GameDay's missing Lee Corso mascot head has been recovered. We repeat: The Corso head is safe.
From the Oregonian:
OSP's Lt. Jeff Lanz said an Oregon State University employee called police this morning to say the giant head, worth approximately $5,000, was found near his car at his Harrisburg home. ESPN told police that the massive (some would say, scary) head was taken about 3:20 p.m. on Saturday, not long before the Ducks ended the game with a 37-20 victory over the Beavers.
Lanz said the mascot head was last seen in a large container box at the Oregon State University Memorial Union Quad near some ESPN transportation vehicles. ESPN workers were clearing the College Game Day set when the mascot head was noted missing from its box.
I can imagine the scene at the precinct: "Yeah, this guy works at the university. Found the head sitting next to his car at his house. Can't explain it. Quite the citizen, this one. Now … how on earth could it have gotten there? Keep your eyes open, people: We're going to find this monster."
Now, some would say the disembodied Corso head is "scary," but not the reporter of this article, Stuart Tomlinson, who has no problem with it at all. He's only faithfully expressing the crippling nausea that overtakes some people – not him! – when confronted with a grinning, grotesque visage of an elderly man whose disturbingly lifelike yet dead, unblinking eyes peer out from somewhere beyond the Uncanny Valley. Of course a grown man isn't going to be frightened by a simple, monstrously oversized situation of the human form. And, yes, he's always slept with the lights on. Why do you ask?
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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.
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